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No-Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind Kindle Edition

4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 8,554 ratings

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NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • The pioneering experts behind The Whole-Brain Child and The Yes Brain tackle the ultimate parenting challenge: discipline.
 
“A lot of fascinating insights . . . an eye-opener worth reading.”—Parents

Highlighting the fascinating link between a child’s neurological development and the way a parent reacts to misbehavior,
No-Drama Discipline provides an effective, compassionate road map for dealing with tantrums, tensions, and tears—without causing a scene.
 
Defining the true meaning of the “d” word (to instruct,
not to shout or reprimand), the authors explain how to reach your child, redirect emotions, and turn a meltdown into an opportunity for growth. By doing so, the cycle of negative behavior (and punishment) is essentially brought to a halt, as problem solving becomes a win/win situation. Inside this sanity-saving guide you’ll discover
 
• strategies that help parents identify their own discipline philosophy—and master the best methods to communicate the lessons they are trying to impart
• facts on child brain development—and what kind of discipline is most appropriate and constructive at all ages and stages
• the way to calmly and lovingly connect with a child—no matter how extreme the behavior—while still setting clear and consistent limits
• tips for navigating your child through a tantrum to achieve insight, empathy, and repair
• twenty discipline mistakes even the best parents make—and how to stay focused on the principles of whole-brain parenting and discipline techniques
 
Complete with candid stories and playful illustrations that bring the authors’ suggestions to life,
No-Drama Discipline shows you how to work with your child’s developing mind, peacefully resolve conflicts, and inspire happiness and strengthen resilience in everyone in the family.

Praise for No-Drama Discipline
 
“With lucid, engaging prose accompanied by cartoon illustrations, Siegel and Bryson help parents teach and communicate more effectively.”
Publishers Weekly

“Wow! This book grabbed me from the very first page and did not let go.”
—Lawrence J. Cohen, Ph.D., author of The Opposite of Worry
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From the Publisher

The pioneering experts tackle the ultimate parenting challenge: discipline.

Parents says, “A lot of fascinating insights … an eye-openers worth reading.”

Daniel Goleman says, “Offers a research-based, commonsense approach.”

Editorial Reviews

Review

“With lucid, engaging prose accompanied by cartoon illustrations, [Daniel J.] Siegel and [Tina Payne] Bryson help parents teach and communicate more effectively.”Publishers Weekly

“A lot of fascinating insights . . . an eye-opener worth reading.”
Parents

“Insightful . . . The ideas presented in this latest book can actually be applied to all of our relationships, as it will help us in many circumstances to be able to calm down, have empathy for another person, and then communicate in a constructive way about our concerns and proposed solutions. What works to help children learn and behave better might also help our world’s leaders and large groups of people get along better, as many of us adults failed to develop these mindsight skills as we were growing up and we tend to sabotage our relationships with others as a result. Whether you are a parent, a teacher, or just a person who wishes to learn to get along better with others, you may find some valuable insights in
No-Drama Discipline.”Examiner.com

“Wow! This book grabbed me from the very first page and did not let go. Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson explain extremely well why punishment is a dead-end strategy. Then they describe what to do instead. By making the latest breakthroughs in brain science accessible to any parent, they show why empathy and connection are the royal road to cooperation, discipline, and family harmony.”
—Lawrence J. Cohen, Ph.D., author of The Opposite of Worry

“Using simple and clear explanations, practical advice, and cartoons that make the how-to guidance come alive, this book is a rich resource for families trying to navigate meltdowns and misunderstandings. It explains how neurobiology drives children’s infuriating and puzzling behavior and will help parents make their way through the trenches of a typical day with grace, mutual respect, and a good helping of delight.”
—Wendy Mogel, Ph.D., author of The Blessing of a Skinned Knee

“What a relief! Siegel and Bryson take the difficulty out of discipline, for parents or anyone who has to help kids behave.
No-Drama Discipline offers a research-based, commonsense approach that any grown-up will be happy to use, and any kid will benefit from.”—Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence

“Frustrated parents often ask me why the disciplinary techniques they are using with their children aren’t working, or are even making things worse. I have not always known what to say, because I was not always sure I understood what was going wrong. Now I know.
No-Drama Discipline unlocks the secrets of discipline: what works and what doesn’t, and why—and what to do when you are pulling your hair out. Simply put, Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson’s insights and techniques will make you a better parent. I know I will be using the concepts from this extraordinarily helpful book for years to come.”—Michael Thompson, Ph.D., co-author of Raising Cain

About the Author

Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., is clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine, the founding co-director of the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center, and executive director of the Mindsight Institute. A graduate of Harvard Medical School, Dr. Siegel is the author of several books, including the New York Times bestsellers Brainstorm, Mind, and, with Tina Payne Bryson, The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline. He is also the author of the bestsellers Mindsight and, with Mary Hartzell, Parenting from the Inside Out. He lives in Los Angeles with his wife, with welcome visits from their adult son and daughter.

Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D., is the co-author (with Dan Siegel) of the bestselling The Whole-Brain Child, which has been translated into eighteen languages. She is a pediatric and adolescent psychotherapist, the director of parenting for the Mindsight Institute, and the child development specialist at Saint Mark’s School in Altadena, California. She keynotes conferences and conducts workshops for parents, educators, and clinicians all over the world. Dr. Bryson earned her Ph.D. from the University of Southern California, and she lives near Los Angeles with her husband and three children.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B00JCS4NMC
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Bantam (September 23, 2014)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ September 23, 2014
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 16945 KB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 290 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 8,554 ratings

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Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
8,554 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book's advice useful and insightful. They find the concepts easy to understand and simple to follow. The book helps them have a good balance of discipline, with less stress and drama. It helps them understand their children's emotions and misbehavior. They appreciate the examples and situations that occur with different ages. The book reminds them to treat kids with respect and model good behavior. Overall, customers find the book helpful and insightful, providing hope for more peaceful parenting.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

303 customers mention "Parenting advice"288 positive15 negative

Customers find the book's parenting advice useful and insightful. They say it helps them form a better bond with their children and provides practical examples. Readers mention that the book will improve many lives and is helpful for families and children, including those with autism.

"...The principles work with all kids, but I think harder for parents to implement if they themselves don’t have a strong sense of empathy and executive..." Read more

"...No wonder it’s a NY Times Bestseller! Practical applications, sometimes lacking or unsupported in similar literature, are also included, making this..." Read more

"Great book full of practical advice! Easy to follow with a good structure...." Read more

"...will provide a better home environment, but will actually help your child develop parts (upper brain) of their brain that will drastically impact..." Read more

119 customers mention "Ease of understanding"105 positive14 negative

Customers find the book's advice and techniques easy to understand. They appreciate the simple concepts and straightforward communication style. The book is well-written and provides practical strategies that work quickly to improve parent-child interactions.

"...No fluff. Lots of logic, reasoning & real-life examples, including pics, to resonate w/any caregiver/parent. No wonder it’s a NY Times Bestseller!..." Read more

"Great book full of practical advice! Easy to follow with a good structure...." Read more

"...All in all I would stay it was a well written, easy read parenting manual peppered with humor...." Read more

"...able to explain how the brain works in practical terms, so it's easy to understand...." Read more

60 customers mention "Discipline"55 positive5 negative

Customers find the book helpful for addressing discipline issues at work and home. They feel it helps them have a good balance of discipline, reduces stress, and provides hope for peaceful parenting. The book offers guidance on developing appropriate and compassionate discipline that is both patient and understanding.

"...yes you need to address the bad behavior choice, but discipline is so much more effective once you gotten rid of the defensiveness and reactivity...." Read more

"...No fluff. Lots of logic, reasoning & real-life examples, including pics, to resonate w/any caregiver/parent. No wonder it’s a NY Times Bestseller!..." Read more

"...This allows you to see how No-Drama Discipline not only will provide a better home environment, but will actually help your child develop parts..." Read more

"...minds are still developing, connecting, focusing on teaching, avoiding overtalking, various ways to redirect.. all of these things are great..." Read more

45 customers mention "Empathy"45 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's empathy. It helps them understand their children's emotions and misbehavior, fostering nurturing relationships with their children. The book focuses on psychological and brain development, supporting healthy psycho-social environments for both parents and children. They feel closer to their kids after reading the book and maintain a neurologically and psychologically healthy relationship.

"...logic, reasoning & real-life examples, including pics, to resonate w/any caregiver/parent. No wonder it’s a NY Times Bestseller!..." Read more

"...the ideas this book presented by using common sense and treating our child with respect...." Read more

"...But it's simple. It's just kindness and respect. And it works." Read more

"...It focuses on connecting with your child, and maintaining a neurologically and psychologically healthy, loving relationship and maintaining firm,..." Read more

16 customers mention "Examples"16 positive0 negative

Customers find the book provides useful examples and insights into situations that occur with different ages. They appreciate the connections between important or simple influences, providing options on how to handle tough situations. The examples are easy to follow and apply to actual situations.

"...I also felt there were great examples, and the concepts are simple in practice, just hard for some to reimagine a dated view of discipline...." Read more

"...I like how there are many examples of situations that occur with different aged children, and how to effectively respond so that discipline is not..." Read more

"I think the overall concepts and especially the examples were super helpful, it just all could have fit in less than 20 pages...." Read more

"...It really gives you a new insight and gives you options on how to handle really tough situations. I absolutely loved it." Read more

16 customers mention "Parenting style"16 positive0 negative

Customers find the book helpful for parenting. They say it teaches respect and guiding parents in disciplining their children. The book is described as a humane approach to parenting and perfect for all kids.

"...Ultimately this book reminds you to treat your kids with respect and model the behavior you expect from them...." Read more

"...Simple human respect: what does each of us need, and how can we help each other get there?..." Read more

""No-Drama Discipline", provides principles of discipline for both parents and their children that supports healthy psycho-social environments for..." Read more

"I think this is a great book if you’re interested in gentle parenting approaches to discipline...." Read more

12 customers mention "Humor"12 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's humor. They find it practical and engaging, with comics. The style is simple and helps establish a loving dynamic even in the midst of turmoil.

"...I would stay it was a well written, easy read parenting manual peppered with humor...." Read more

"...It is a very easy-to-read, engaging and superb book...." Read more

"...The authors’ communication style is simplistic and engaging. It is an excellent how-to book on child discipline...." Read more

"...It helps establish a safe & loving dynamic even in the midst of turmoil...." Read more

16 customers mention "Effectiveness"11 positive5 negative

Customers have different views on the book's effectiveness. Some find it simple and kind, with a method that works well and produces good results. Others say the strategies don't work with children under 5, are repetitive, and not very useful.

"...The best part is, it actually works! I have read dozens of books, but this one is the only one that gives the tools necessary to truly help you...." Read more

"...Our communication with our children has become much more nurturing, productive, non-threatening...." Read more

"There is no perfect parenting method. What works on Monday won't work on Tuesday. What works with one child won't work with another...." Read more

"...My 2 & 4 year old have been responding really well to the techniques & I’ve really appreciated this different approach to discipline...." Read more

Yes! Buy it! Research-based for laypeople
5 out of 5 stars
Yes! Buy it! Research-based for laypeople
We’re struggling w/how best to discipline a strong-willed 8-year-old, w/inattentive ADHD, who’s also a child of divorce, particularly given cultural & generational differences. I’ve studied enough neuropsychology in college & independently to be familiar w/the terminology, but this book would be a pretty easy read for those w/out any such background. No fluff. Lots of logic, reasoning & real-life examples, including pics, to resonate w/any caregiver/parent. No wonder it’s a NY Times Bestseller! Practical applications, sometimes lacking or unsupported in similar literature, are also included, making this book a huge “Yes!” for me. I can’t wait to read more books by these authors!Frustrated & confounded by our personal parenting/disciplining challenges, this book has renewed my hope about the potential to raise our kids in a healthier way than we were & about the potentially more positive short-term & long-term results for our kids & family.I’d prefer the book be bigger & easier to fold back & highlight, but that’s the only down-side I see thus far.I highly recommend this book to any caregiver/parent interested in doing a better job of child-rearing than they might have experienced or attempted themselves.
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on February 27, 2021
    I’ve now read this book three times. The first time I read it I highlighted important parts as I read, so when I go back about 2x a year when I feel like I’m starting to struggle, it’s a quick skim. I find the principles of this book to be spot on. Is our goal to get our kids to stop misbehaving or to raise empathetic humans who can self regulate in the future when they’re all on their own? The strategy in this book addresses both goals, but If you’re only looking at the short term goal then you might be frustrated by this book, but it boggles my mind that parents don’t also see they are responsible for creating good humans for the sake of their own children’s’ well-beings and that of society. Ultimately this book reminds you to treat your kids with respect and model the behavior you expect from them. It’s not spoiling to give a child in distress a hug, yes you need to address the bad behavior choice, but discipline is so much more effective once you gotten rid of the defensiveness and reactivity. I also felt there were great examples, and the concepts are simple in practice, just hard for some to reimagine a dated view of discipline. As a teacher, a lot of this is obvious because I do it with my students, but wasn’t applying at home. I have a 3 year old son and 6 year old daughter, and an infant, for reference, all with different personalities. The principles work with all kids, but I think harder for parents to implement if they themselves don’t have a strong sense of empathy and executive functioning skills. You have to be willing to open your mind, not just read a book that satisfies yourself urge to lay down the law and always be in control.
    85 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on August 8, 2023
    We’re struggling w/how best to discipline a strong-willed 8-year-old, w/inattentive ADHD, who’s also a child of divorce, particularly given cultural & generational differences. I’ve studied enough neuropsychology in college & independently to be familiar w/the terminology, but this book would be a pretty easy read for those w/out any such background. No fluff. Lots of logic, reasoning & real-life examples, including pics, to resonate w/any caregiver/parent. No wonder it’s a NY Times Bestseller! Practical applications, sometimes lacking or unsupported in similar literature, are also included, making this book a huge “Yes!” for me. I can’t wait to read more books by these authors!

    Frustrated & confounded by our personal parenting/disciplining challenges, this book has renewed my hope about the potential to raise our kids in a healthier way than we were & about the potentially more positive short-term & long-term results for our kids & family.

    I’d prefer the book be bigger & easier to fold back & highlight, but that’s the only down-side I see thus far.

    I highly recommend this book to any caregiver/parent interested in doing a better job of child-rearing than they might have experienced or attempted themselves.
    Customer image
    5.0 out of 5 stars Yes! Buy it! Research-based for laypeople
    Reviewed in the United States on August 8, 2023
    We’re struggling w/how best to discipline a strong-willed 8-year-old, w/inattentive ADHD, who’s also a child of divorce, particularly given cultural & generational differences. I’ve studied enough neuropsychology in college & independently to be familiar w/the terminology, but this book would be a pretty easy read for those w/out any such background. No fluff. Lots of logic, reasoning & real-life examples, including pics, to resonate w/any caregiver/parent. No wonder it’s a NY Times Bestseller! Practical applications, sometimes lacking or unsupported in similar literature, are also included, making this book a huge “Yes!” for me. I can’t wait to read more books by these authors!

    Frustrated & confounded by our personal parenting/disciplining challenges, this book has renewed my hope about the potential to raise our kids in a healthier way than we were & about the potentially more positive short-term & long-term results for our kids & family.

    I’d prefer the book be bigger & easier to fold back & highlight, but that’s the only down-side I see thus far.

    I highly recommend this book to any caregiver/parent interested in doing a better job of child-rearing than they might have experienced or attempted themselves.
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    Customer image
    39 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on September 15, 2024
    Great book full of practical advice! Easy to follow with a good structure. I’d recommend to any parent who is looking for strategies on how to discipline effectively without undermining the bond with a child.
    2 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on July 5, 2015
    This book was recommended by a psychiatrist for behavior issues our adopted son is struggling with. My husband is a doctor and I worked with children with behaviors as a professional, so we had already been applying many of the ideas this book presented by using common sense and treating our child with respect. There are some things (like with any modality of behavior modification) that would not have worked for us. Example: there is no way I could have allowed my child to explore a grocery store, if he started to fidget in the cart. We had to put him in the cart and keep him there until he stopped screaming. The grocery cart and the car seat were really the only non-starters of free-exploration. Now I can shop and he is at peace knowing nothing is going to hurt him, there is no way he can run around the store and grab items and bump off of people, he will get rewarded if he stays calm and I can get our grocery shopping finished. I suggest this book for any parent who is questioning themselves, it could help parents out in the sense that most parents struggle and it allows for faults and releases some guilt because partenting is a constant struggle. Most parenting books (IMO) can be reduced to a few sentences: Love your child, stay calm: always the best state of mind to handle any situation (but sometimes we all loose our Sh&% and get over it immediately if you do) and be consistent, surprises should be left for the Holidays. All in all I would stay it was a well written, easy read parenting manual peppered with humor. Yes, I would recommended it, but allow for some modifications in your own parenting style (which this books states as well).
    30 people found this helpful
    Report

Top reviews from other countries

Translate all reviews to English
  • Alexandre Delwar
    5.0 out of 5 stars Discipline for Millennial Parents
    Reviewed in Canada on January 31, 2023
    As a millennial, I wanted to be better at raising kids. This book makes sense. It’s not meant to solve all your problems and it acknowledged that. What it gives you is a solid foundation to discipline that you can start with and shape it as you see fit. What it says makes sense and I like that there is science behind it as opposed to someone’s opinion or personal experience. Highly recommend.
  • ShwetaThakkar
    5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing book
    Reviewed in India on February 20, 2024
    Book helped a lot on my child
    Read entire book and writing this review
    All tricks and psychology behind child's behavior has helped me improve to understand my child
  • Luis
    5.0 out of 5 stars Buen libro
    Reviewed in Spain on May 8, 2022
    Lo lei como padre y me gusto
  • Charlotte Coles
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great Insight and Ideas
    Reviewed in Germany on May 11, 2021
    It's a brilliant book, not only giving suggestions for how to be a better parent, but also explaining why these strategies are better. During the Introduction I wasn't sure it would be a useful book for me, and then during the first chapter I was frustrated because it seemed to be saying "don't do this, this is bad, this won't help, you should do what we will suggest instead" without actually giving any suggestions for what might be better to do. As it went on, though, they start giving incredibly helpful suggestions and insights, and I think it would be useful for any parent - or, really, any person who is frequently around children - to read. I might suggest reading the conclusion first, though, where they give reassurances about it not being too late to change, about not having damaged your children up to this stage by not using these strategies, etc., because that section, in my opinion, makes a better introduction than the actual introduction. As there is a lot of information in the book, they have also made a very helpful summary at the end of the book with the various strategies so that you can make a note of that elsewhere for quick reminders rather than having to re-read the book every time you can't remember one of their strategies properly.
  • Juliane Rojas
    5.0 out of 5 stars Mi libro de consulta y cabecera
    Reviewed in Mexico on September 2, 2019
    Un libro increíble.
    Entendiendo como funciona el cerebro se pueden aplicar estrategias prácticas muy buenas

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